PAIN AND THE DRINK: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.

Dear World, Dear You, Dear Me,

“I just cut my wrist up, I need some more attention!!!” I wanted to shout. But would anyone hear me out? That’s what it’d come to though 😔. Self-harm. Cut myself up so that one of these ratchet ass people would turn around and take me in their arms. I had tried everything. Asking, being nice to them but nothing worked. I couldn’t find nor make one person care.
I downed more liquor. Maybe this how shit’s ‘posed to be, me, myself and liquor. A divine threesome.
Sometimes, you get hurt so bad and with so many people you become addicted to the pain. You’re not numb to it, you’re just it. The pain becomes engraved and etched in you. You fail to imagine living without it. Is like how you run away from pain so much as a kid that finally, it catches up to you and tags you it. You then find yourself in the darkness and pit of confusion and it’s either two things, self hurt or reaching your hand to oblivion and see what it clutches. As always, it can only come back with one thing. A bottle of liquor.
You drown in a sea of liquor yes. But sometimes, there’s things even poison and death cannot mute. Pain. Pain is a bitch. And it’s a world where everyone’s dick’s out. And it’s teeth are fucking leaving everyone with a hickey.
But maybe, I don’t know, that pain is what peppers our food in the unfortunate flirtation we have with life. I mean, besides death, which oftentimes comes in pain, maybe the pain we experience while living is supposed to remind us we ain’t ever running from her. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe!
How whisky burns my throat as it journeys down. Yeah bitch, I know you’re going there.
Liquor for the pain, what a romance.
“the plan was, to drink until the pain over, but what’s worse the pain or the hangover?” ye. What a set off.

P. S. there’ll always be someone that cares. dedicated to all of you who are broken and think of no way out save suicide. i love you. live today. become alive.

yours,

me. yours.

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