I checked out my menstrual calendar the other day, and saw I was a day away from mine. So, doing the moat rational thing, I rushed to the shop just around the corner at home to buy some sanitary pads for myself. I got there, paid the shopkeeper and she took out the pad from the shelf directly to a newspaper and wrapped it.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“You know these things have to be wrapped. You don’t want the whole world knowing its that time of the month,” she mouthed the words full of confidence.
“Wacha kuifunga.” Stop wrapping it. “You don’t mind walking around with it?” she asked. With a bewildered face. A Jonah face rather. When he got swallowed by a fish over some message.
“No. It is mine. Right?”
“OK. Whatever floats your boat.”
She handed it to me.
A proud bitch.
And there I was. In my sweatpants, kinky hair and wearing my white rubbers I’d let a friend sketch over, carrying sanitary pads around for all to see. It was quite the sight. With the looks I got, you’d have thought I was a middle finger walking around saying “Fuck the world.” And I was a proud woman. A proud mama. A proud bitch.
It was sad though, when even the women, gave as wild a look as the men. I mean, we all know women bleed every month, unless you unfortunately fall pregnant. So, why the fuck are we ashamed of it!
My type of feminism, is different from y’all. I don’t care about us getting employed or not. Heck, the world is a jungle, and we can’t be the type of people where food is hunted for us. Women don’t have to try to do things men can do. They can’t do half the shits we can… And I’m hella proud of things of mine these fellas can never do. And never will. That’s what makes us women. That’s what makes us the specie men go to war for and murder half the population for it. I do not think women can ever achieve equal status with the men if we haven’t reclaimed our-selves back. We are afraid of walking around with a sanitary pad because we are afraid of what people, who know about our menstruals, will say about it…. If that ain’t fucked up, I don’t know what is.
What sort of self-hate is this that makes us deny everything that we are and get wrapped in proving what we aren’t and never gonna be?
I don’t even my own body now?
Our low self worth is why men think that giving dick to a gay woman will turn her straight. Because the lesbians among us think so too. I mean, male bodies look like a confused anatomical creation and here they (we) are, thinking they are God’s gift to humanity!
Let us reclaim our bodies, our pussies, before all else. Before fighting for a table in the animal farm. And until I can walk around with my sanitary pads without having to hide them, it hasn’t been done yet.
I mean, when has a natural occurrence turned into a source of shame. It’s my fucking body?! We have allowed other people to police our bodies through standards of beauty, body size, virginity and now we’ve let them police the very blood we shed. So, not only can I not get rid of the little bastard lying in my womb but neither can I let everyone know about the blood I am sheding through my fucking vagina… SMFH!!!!!!!!!!!!
a story by Dannie Wambui.
p.s. I haven’t been writing. hah i know. but the bitch is back.